June 27, 2004

AS MUCH as I’d love to harp on about a certain overpaid primadonna missing a penalty the other day, I’ve got far more important things to talk about. So if you’re English, read on. If you’re Welsh, gloat for a little bit longer, then read on.

Car racing comes in many different forms, 99 per cent of which have a common theme: avoid the other blokes. But the good people who run the Demolition Events National Tour (DENT) have another purpose in mind. In their game, the object is to wreck anything that moves, so in many ways it’s reminiscent of driving the A470 at rush hour.

DENT (the website’s at smashcar.com) pretty much slings 130 nutters driving cars that make Del Boy’s yellow three-wheeler look mechanically safe on to a racetrack. The aim of the game is to be the last one with a car that is actually capable of moving. The fact that the venue for the championships is called the “Kil-Kare” should give you a good idea of what it’s all about.

Unfortunately, that’s as good an idea as you’re going to get. For some reason DENT’s website is pretty much devoid of pictures, which is a travesty for those of us who like to see cars smashing into each other. Instead you’re regaled with a written account of the action, but with sentences like "Heat 3 had Mike Tosco from Ohio and from Canada, Chris Hill 2003 Eastern Region Mad Dog Winner found himself with another Mad Dog Award making him one of the few with more than 1 Mad Dog Awards" it’s obvious the reporting duties were farmed out to the local primary school.

Oops! I’m wrong – there are pictures. But they’re buried within the Past Championships pages. On the other hand, they are pretty good, so why not put them in a more prominent place? Answers on a postcard to...

ON A personal note, I’d just like to pass on my thanks to the programme director at ESPN. After all, who in America would want to watch a nailbiting Euro 2004 quarter-final when you could watch America’s Strongest Man instead? You’re doing a great job of keeping the outside world out, mate.