April 25, 2004

GARDENING. Personally, I can’t stand it, which is why I live in an apartment with no garden and only a couple of pot plants (not that kind of pot) which are kept alive with liberal doses of cold coffee. On the other hand, the good people of Emerson, Arkansas, must love gardening as they’re holding the World Championship Rotary Tiller Race this summer – and they’re very proud of the fact.

The WCRTR (as I’ve hereby decided to call it) is part of the Purple Hull Pea Festival (purplehull.com) so you kind of get the idea that maybe Emerson is a bit out in the sticks. That’s “out in the sticks” in the same way as the Pacific Ocean is slightly damp, by the way. The whole festival-based-around-a-pea thing came about as, apparently, everyone in the town grows purple hull peas in their backyards, and a member of the community named Glen Eades decided to pay homage to it by starting a festival. He’s also the one responsible for coming up with the idea of a rotary tiller race. I don’t know what he’s been drinking, but my bet is you need a prescription to get it.

But I digress, mainly because Buffy is on TV and it’s hard to concentrate on blokes driving tillers when Willow keeps walking on set. Believe me, I’m doing my best, and if this is it, I need to start working in Burger King.

The World Championship Rotary Tiller Race is divided into several categories with one basic theme: push a rotary tiller down a 200ft track against the clock. Wayne Waller of Three Creeks, Arkansas, currently holds the record of 6.12s, pushing his tiller "Wild Thang" at an average speed of 22.3mph and in the process beating the top speed attained by my mum driving to Safeway.

One other notable part of the site is the Tiller Girls section, which showcases photos of the girls who dress up and go around soliciting donations off the crowd, as the festival doesn’t charge admission. I’ve actually come up with a game involving them: look over the pictures and pick the one most likely to appear on The Jerry Springer Show in the near future. Fun for all the family!