December 21, 2003

"DAVE? It's Mut."

"Hiya matey, you all right?"

"Yeah. Listen, you're not going to believe what I've just found on the net."

"Oh God, not another site with pictures of redheads draped over Ferraris?"

"No, this one's better."

"Better? Stone me, it must be outstanding."

"Oh yes. There's this bloke, right?"

"A bloke?"

"Yep. And he's going to drive from Plymouth to Dakar, right?"

"Don't you mean Paris to Dakar?"

"No, Plymouth. It's on the south coast of England."

"Who's the one with the geography degree?"

Sorry. Anyway, he's not got a Range Rover or a Jeep, oh no. He's doing it in a 4x4 Fiat Panda."

"A Fiat Panda? Is he insane?"

"I think so, but it didn't stop me from getting a job."

"So why is he doing it?"

"It's for charity, to help his local school and a school in Ghana."

"Sounds like a good cause. But isn't it a bit dangerous?"

"I guess so. But it gets better than that."

"It gets better than driving from Plymouth to Dakar in a Fiat Panda 4x4? Is he taking Buffy with him or something?"

"I wish, it would give us an excuse to put a pic of her on the column."

"You need an excuse to put Buffy in the paper?"

"Dunno, I'll check my contract. Anyway, there's a page on the site where you can download a Panda."

"What, a real one?"

"No, you berk, a cardboard one. You cut it out, glue it together, stick it in interesting places, take a pic and send it in."

"Why?"

"Cos the best pic wins a dancing hamster."

"You mean one of those toy ones?"

"Yeah, those."

"What's the address?"

"Desertprats.com."

"I'm already there... dancing hamsters are cool."

"Oh, and Dave?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks, mate."

"What for?"

"I think we've just written my column."

"Great! Do I get paid?"

"Why, do you think I do?"

I'VE had an e-mail from a reader asking where I find all the strange sites I write about. Well, Mr Roberts of Neath, keep it to yourself, but I find them on the Internet.