january 18, 2004

WARPIG! Let's say it again: WARPIG! Now shout it out: WAAARRRRPIIIIG!!!!

Great, that's one paragraph out of the way. Today's subject, my little toffee profiteroles, is warpig.com, a site dedicated to the noble art of running around a forest shooting coloured balls at people. No, that's not the Disney remake of Platoon, it's paintballing.

This is another sport I've actually participated in (i.e. I hid behind a tree hoping none of the opposing team would hear my whimpering) and I can honestly say it's great fun, especially watching your best mate being hit in the nuts and having to be carried out of the arena.

If you like spending your weekends covering an area of outstanding natural beauty in splats of yellow paint, Warpig has the works. There's loads of info, resources, reviews of guns and other gear, accounts of major tournaments and loads of picture galleries.

Another one worth checking out - if only for hyperbole worthy of a Sky Sports soccer commentator - is Mackz Xtreme Sportz (yez, it iz spelled like that - az everyone knowz, replacing "s" with "z" makez you really rad, dude. If you're 12 and have ADD, that iz).

Anyhoo, mxsportz.com asks: "Imagine, if you will, a place where every idea, thought and concept you have ever discussed out-loud [sic] has travelled across space and time to become reality. . . Would this be nirvana or hell?" I dunno, mate, depends whether Buffy and Nicole Kidman are included in the price.

REMEMBER my column from a few weeks back about soccer commentators? Neither do I. Anyway, here's a page devoted to the sayings of darts genius Sid Waddell: http://mrankin.home.cern.ch/mrankin/Waddell.htm.