October 11, 2003

ANYONE who knows me knows I like my food. True, I like it too much and could do with cutting down on the nightly packet-of-cookies-and-a-movie sessions, but that's nothing compared to what the International Federation of Competitive Eating (ifoce.com) gets up to. This is the sport where people attempt to set world records by stuffing their faces with various foodstuffs against the clock.

Some of the records are enough to turn your stomach (excuse the pun) and make you wonder if the participant walked out of the venue or was carried out in a box. Take Don Lerman, for example. Mr Lerman ate seven quarter-pound sticks of salted butter in five minutes.

How the hell does he do it? More to the point, does he have to bring his own bucket or is one provided? Or, if you prefer things a bit spicier, there's Jed Donahue, who ate 152 jalapeno peppers in 15 minutes. As someone who can't eat HP sauce without feeling overheated, I can only take my hat off to Mr Donahue and wish his mouth - if, indeed, it hasn't filed for divorce yet - a speedy recovery.

Now, see if you can guess where the IFOCE is based. I'll give you a clue: it starts with U, ends in A and has an S in the middle. But there are international tournaments, including one in London (unsurprisingly referred to as "London, England" on the website - you know, just in case anyone thinks it's the world-famous London in Missouri) where the foodstuff of choice is pomme frites, or chips to us non-Yanks.

There's also one in Las Vegas, which is an all-you-can-eat buffet. Having tried one of these myself, I can only sympathise with the arteries of those involved. The site's even got an application form for those interested in taking up this sport. I was going to enter, but putting "my mum's cabbage" wouldn't work, and besides, one mouthful of that is quite enough. God, I am so dead for saying that...