September 9, 2003

I'M sorry about this, I did my best to get a better subject for this week's column but there just aren't any decent sites out there on the Swedish under-21 female limbo-dancing team. Well, there are, but none suitable for a family paper. Please accept my apologies.

So, with the prospect of looking at websites consisting of scantily-clad Scandinavian girls gone for a Burton, I've decided to take a look at the next best thing: pig racing.

Along with Jerry Springer, Coca-Cola, hanging chads and warnings on packets of peanuts that say "Caution: May Contain Nuts", pig-racing could only have originated in the US of A. Go take a look at robinsonsracingpigs.com for proof.

Running a country fair? Stuck for some entertainment? Why not book a pig-race?

Actually, it sounds pretty fun and a damn sight more thrilling than watching Michael Schumacher sailing to another win (yaaawwwn). Of course, the fact that the organiser, David Feimster, probably runs the biggest hamburger stall in New Jersey is another matter - just don't tell the kiddies what they're munching on after the races.

But if pig-racing isn't extreme enough for you and you need something more exciting, why not upgrade to the next thriller - skunk drag racing. No, this doesn't involve dressing skunks in high heels and mini-skirts,although that probably does happen in the wilder parts of Alabama.

Billing itself as "the only live skunk attraction", you take two skunks, put 'em side-by-side on a 50ft racetrack, attach a clothespeg to your nose and let them loose. If you think your Prozac prescription can take it, the website is here: skunkrace.com/skunk.html.

IF YOU'VE ever had the urge to track down the final resting place of your dead sporting hero, now's your chance. findagrave.com lets you search for people's burial sites and tells you where they're resting in piece. I'm not being held responsible for what you lot get up to when you do find it, however. . .