MAY 31

FOR God's sake, it just doesn't end, does it? Here's "just reese"'s MySpace page with another of my dirtbiking pics in the background:

I have to admit, the Emric cat poo pic was losing some of its appeal. So let's give some tins of beans a go:

It's fairly promising, but what about some flowers?

Hmmm... makes the page a tad hard to read, I think you'll agree. I know - a nice fresh chicken doner kebab. That'll do the trick:

Great, now I'm bloody starving and 6,000 miles away from a decent chicken doner. Ah, but what about a pic that many of my friends will appreciate?

Yes, that is Brian from British TV masterpiece Spaced grooving in the episode "Epiphanies". It's a personal favourite, but I don't think "just reese" would appreciate the humour to be found in Brian's attempts at clubbing.

So catshit it is, then.

MAY 29

EXHIBIT A: thepilot4492's MySpace page at 12.22pm today.

EXHIBIT B: thepilot4492's MySpace page at 12.23pm today.

MAY 27

I WAS going to do an update about the car one of the lezzers in our apartment block owns, but I can't be bothered to go and take pics. So here's a photo of a sign instead.

MAY 26

THERE'S nothing quite like coming home from work, walking up to your front door and hearing police sirens to really make you run for the camera. Some pratt tried running from the fuzz and, like the criminal mastermind he isn't, decided to lose the cops by cutting through the Jack-in-the-Box drive-thru. Which was full at the time. Can anyone else detect the phrase "what a twat" rapidly marching in this direction?

MAY 25

MANY thanks to Jules for sending me this pic of the Sultan's Elephant passing through streets of London back on May 6. It was part of a French Street Theatre performance. You can read more about it here, and to see Jules's pic full-size click this linky-type thing here.

MAY 22

SO HERE we are back in California and it seems we've brought the rain with us. But after flying for 11 hours and then getting up at 6.15 this morning and now facing work while jetlagged off my tits, I'm not really in the right frame of mind for caring what the Californian weather's like. I just wish I knew what happened to my sunglasses.

Not much has changed when we were away. Iestyn has got bigger, Emric welcomed us by taking a slash in the sink and Madoc hid under the bed all night, so at least it's normality where the cats are concerned. After trying to make a cuppa this morning with 10-day-old milk we decided to go to Albertson's to get more, only to discover they've installed TVs on all the checkout lines thus making it impossible to escape trailers for the next mediocre pile of shit to hit the screens. Wonderful.

MAY 19

SOME random pics from our trip to London:

MAY 18

I GOT back from the pub last night and stone me if another MySpace git has gone and hotlinked to my dirtbike pic:

You all know the routine by now, so to cut a long story short here's the end result:

Blake of San Diego is now linking to someone else's site, but it was fun while it lasted.

MAY 14

TODAY'S photos are brought to you by the number 3 and the letter H:

MAY 13

IT'S Saturday, so it must be time for more pics...

MAY 12

ONE of the things I've missed the most while away from the UK is beans on toast. I usually get a blank look when I mention this to Americans, so here's the Planet Mut guide to making the perfect beans on toast:

Here's the toast on its way to becoming the base for this meal. Personally I feel the more well done the toast the better, so whack the setting up to "towering inferno" and leave in peace until your smoke alarm goes off.

While the toast is beginning its magical transformation into sliced charcoal, get the other ingredients ready. You'll need a tin of beans and if you're feeling particularly daredevil, some eggs.

Chuck some oil/lard/goose fat into a frying pan and leave it over the heat until it resembles the surface of the sun. Crack the egg over a convenient corner of the kitchen counter and place lovingly in the fat (asbestos gloves are recommended for this part). Leave it to fry and get the tin of beans open.

Empty the beans into a bowl, preferably one that can be microwaved. Your beans should be orange in colour, unlike mine which are brown thanks to me forgetting to use the flash. Microwave on full power until steaming hot or you fuse the house.

The next bit is a tad complicated, so pay attention. Put the toast on a plate and butter it. Dump the beans on top and then slap the egg on them (refer to the illustration above if you're stuck). The general presentation you're looking for is "something knocked up by a pissed student at 1am".

And there you have it - a meal fit for a six-year-old. HP Sauce is optional but highly recommended. If you'd like to try this at home, don't contact me if you burn the place down.

MAY 9

MORE random piccies...

MAY 8

HERE'S some random pics from the first couple of days of UK 2006:

MAY 4

AS WE'RE heading off to Britain for a fortnight tonight, expect Planet Mut to be sporadically updated, if at all. And I'm seriously thinking about transferring the whole site to WordPress, so you can all confidently expect it to go completely tits up.

MAY 3

SOME random pics taken on the way to/from work:

MAY 2

AND SO May kicks off with another insane email sent to me at work:

I am in the last throws of completing my work on spirals that will give insight into the genetic code as well as explaining the origin of spirals themselves.

This will with the aid of Coperinicus and the Arabic astrolabe demonstrate how the world is infact upside down to our inherited belief.

When you no longer abide by the Christian concept of opposites it will demonstrate why the true pole frequents the equator.

This will initiate the third world war prophesized at this time as well as bringing about the collapse of civilization itself.

I will use my knowledge and position to bring about the destruction of United States of America as well as bringing about the end of Israel.

I use a swastika as a platform instead of the Cartesian plane which was necessary to unite the world through one equation. This will for fill the jewish bible prophecy of atomic holocaust 2006.

You are at liberty to with hold this Knowledge from others but this will only make it more dreadful when the time comes as everyone will be less prepared for the civil war in America.

The American press and authorities are already aware of this knowledge but are keeping stum as its to disturbing to mention.

Kind regards runningwater