MARCH 31

SO I go for a ciggie at work last night and I'm standing on the pavement smoking away and trying to stay awake. There's an old white BMW parked on the side of the road about three feet away from me with a girl and bloke in it who look like they're trying to perform tonsil surgery on each other with their tongues. I mean, Jesus, any harder and their molecules will start to bond. So I'm standing there trying not to watch and finally the girl gets out of the car. Now bear in mind that the car is parked on a red kerb, which is like parking on a red route in London - it's a death sentence.

They start blowing each other kisses and making small talk. The girl finally crosses the road (leaving her door open to menace the passing traffic) and gets to the other side, where she turns around and starts shouting "Remember there's a girl who loves you very much!" And the guy starts shouting "Remember you have a boyfriend who loves you very much!" about 15 times. All the while I'm standing there trying to make the last inch of my Marlboro Light last out so I can witness the rest of this wierd exchange.

Then, just when I think they're going to finally shut up and go their separate ways, she comes back over to the bloody car, shouting "There's a girl who loves you" all the way, gives the guy another kiss and goes back over to the opposite kerb again. His passenger door is still open and he's shouting "You've got a boyfriend who loves you very much!" at the top of his voice and I'm starting to wonder if he is the boyfriend or they've been for an illicit shag and are now wracked with guilt. She blows him a few more kisses and he blows some back, then she finally starts to walk up the street towards Brand Boulevard.

So I've just chucked my ciggie in the gutter, I'm about to swipe my ID card to get back in when his mobile rings. His window is closed but I can still hear him shouting "You've got a boyfriend who loves you very much!" into his phone before he drives away. A quick glance up the street shows that yes, the girl's on her mobile. What the hell was all that about?

MARCH 29

THIS is ridiculous. Ev's at a U2 concert in San Diego, I've got home at least two hours earlier than usual and I don't know what to do with myself. I've done a couple more pages of old adverts and now I can't decide whether to watch a movie, get something to eat or play Half-Life 2. Suggestions on a postcard, please.

ADDED three more words to the dictionary - mullered, filbert and spangled. What are you waiting for? Go take a look!

MARCH 26

SINCE I've been working in Glendale I've discovered a whole new set of roads to get stuck on. At first glance it looks easy - down Ocean Boulevard, then onto the 710 to the 5, then the 2, then the 134 and off on Brand Boulevard. All of 37 miles but it still takes upwards of an hour to complete. I'm carpooling with Mike on alternate days and Friday I took my camera along to record the trip, taking about 125 pictures. The best 60 are here.

MARCH 22

ADDED three more words to the dictionary tonight. And it's my old man's 67th birthday, so congratulations dad!

MARCH 19

LOOK at the scores above. We did it - we won the Grand Slam and the Triple Crown. And where was I? On the wrong bloody continent. Bugger.

MARCH 13

I'D just like to thank the entire nation of Scotland for being so inept at rugby Wales were able to run up a 38-3 halftime lead. Fair play, you came back at us in the second half but the 46-22 victory will do us fine. Here's the highlights I listened to at 8.30am this morning.

AFTER 434 entries, the dictionary is done. Pay attention as I'll be asking questions later. If anyone spots an error or omission, let me know and I'll make the changes.

MARCH 9

FOUR hundred and nineteen entries and still going. I never knew I had it in me.

MARCH 8

I HIT the 370 mark on dictionary entries tonight. Will it ever end? Once I've got down to Z I'll link to it, but at the mo I'm back and forth adding words in that I forgot.

MARCH 6

THE dictionary is coming on a storm - it's currently up to 330 entries. I've got down to the T's and I'm about to start on the U's, so if there is anyone out there with any suggestions, let me know.

March 3

THE British dictionary is coming along at a snail's pace, so this is an appeal for help to Ga, Matt, Flynn, Ga, Mark, Jules and any other Brit reading this - send me slang terms and their meanings. I don't want swear words as I know all those already, just slang - is pagga ringing any bells, Matt? Mail 'em to me and I'll get the sodding page out of the way. Any donations will be gratefully received.

I'VE put a page of classic car pics I took at a show last year up. They can be found here, or if you want to give your mouse some exercise, at the bottom of the yellow menu-thingy to the left.

March 1

STONE me... today I've been in the States for exactly a year.